


assignments, stressed-out teenagers and a pair of high-ass assassins

by elista



Category: Becky G (Musician) RPF, Halsey (Musician), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Assassins, Attempt at Humor, Crack, Crossover, Dialogue-Only, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Humor, Jungkook and Ashley are 18, M/M, No Plot/Plotless, Phone Calls & Telephones, Short One Shot, Sickfic, Twins, Yoongi and Becky are 22/21, jungkook may be a bit OOC, slight age gap, sorry about that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-07
Updated: 2019-10-07
Packaged: 2020-12-01 23:47:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20938601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elista/pseuds/elista
Summary: Yoongi and Becky Min aren't used to being taken care of when ill. They also aren't familiar with cold-and-flu medicine or portion control either.Jungkook and Ashley Jeon are stressed-out seniors with some heavy shit on their plates. They are used to unusual or strange situations, expectant of them really. But what they did not think was going to happen is that when they open the door to the Jeon household after an agonizing day at school is their partners streaking semi-nude across the living room with bottles of syrup in their hands. Chaos ensues.





	assignments, stressed-out teenagers and a pair of high-ass assassins

[INCOMING CALL: JONNIE-HYUNG🖤]

  
“Ah ― hi, hyung.”

“Jungkookie, I need your help. You remember that PE homework Mr Bang handed out this week? It has bloody soccer in it, and I have no sodding clue how to ― is that screaming?”

“Yes.”

“Why is there someone screaming in house at two in the morning?”

“Because Yoongi saw a cockroach.”

“Yoongi, the fearless assassin is screaming because he saw a cockroach?”

“Yes, keep up hyung … crap! For the love of God Yoongi, baby, don’t climb up on the closet ― come out of the closet Yoongi or I swear I’ll ―”

“Should I leave, Kookie? You sound busy.”

“No hyung, just … give me one … sec. Fuck!”

“Shit Jungkookie, you okay?”

“No.”

“Should I call an ambulance?”

“Aren’t ambulances the funny cars that go _wee-wor_, Jungkookie? I like ambulances!”

“Yes Yoongi, just … roll over, love.”

“Oh, sorry. I just really love being on top of youuuu.”

“Okay, I’m just going to go now and leave you two … to whatever is going on over there.”

“Sorry hyung, I’ve been trying to convince him that a cold doesn’t mean he’s dying for the last hour, but he’s still going a bit manic at the moment.”

“Right…”

“_Achoo_! ”

“Shit, babe! Your nose!”

_"Achoo_! ”

“Stop flapping. Flapping isn't helping! Stop ― oh for fuck’s sake. ASHLEY!”

“What?”

“Your girlfriend's brother is being uncooperative!”

“He’s your boyfriend. I have my own assassin to strangle, deal with your own!”

“But he’s about to break his wrists flapping them like this ― stop! Flapping!”

“Ah ... Jungkookie?”

“Oh fuck, hyung! Sorry ‘bout this, just a few minutes and I’ll be right with ―”

“HI JOONIE!”

“Ah – hey Ashley.”

“Jungkookie, I want to cuddle. Why aren’t you cuddling meeeeee?”

“Not right now baby, Namjoon hyung is on the phone.”

“Ooh, I like Namjoon. Hey Joonie!”

“Um, hi Yoongi hyung ― you are sure that you’re taking care of your boyfriend, right Jungkookie? That I'm not talking to some alien that possessed Yoongi’s body about to take over the Earth?”

“No. Why’d you ask ― Yoongi! Get back here! Shit, no, just ... just sit here, ok? There’s no need to cry, baby, shh, no, I'm not angry, shh.”

“Yoongi’s crying?”

“It's been a long day and he’s high on cold and flu medicine he skulled earlier, sue him not me.”

“Skulled? I ― I’m just gonna go and leave you and Ashley to alien Yoongi to deal with.”

“If it makes you feel any better, Becky is in the shower fully clothed saying that she's ‘_washing me and my clothes_’ ― admittedly, she’s high out of her mind as well.”

“No ... no, that doesn’t make me feel any better. I thought they’re deadly assassins always on the watch for corruption trying to seep its way into the innocent?”

“Excuse me?”

“They’re words, not mine.”

“They are ... just not at this particular second in time.”

“I'm not going to even say something to that.”

“Fair enough.”

“Goodnight, Jungkookie. Night, Ashley!”

“Night, Joonie!”

“Love you, hyung.”

“Have fun, Jungkookie.”

“First of all, respectively, fuck you. Second of all, sleep for us two, will you?”

“Sure thing. Good luck, my dear friend.”

“We’ll need it.”

“You didn’t need to tell me that for me to know.”

“Hilarious. Goodnight, you wanker.”

“Over and out, arse.”

“Nightttt Joonie! I love youuuuuu!”

“Yoongi!”

“Wait Jungkookie ― remember to hand in that geography assignment we had, okay? I just remembered a few hours ago about it and I know how dreadful you are at homework that isn’t sport-related.”

“Wait, we have a geography assignment? Hyung, what assignment?”

“Yes Kookie, we do. Remember the one we were meant to finish two weeks ago. From Mr Kim. The one that makes up 40% of our final grade?”

“Two _weeks_ ago?”

“Yes! Jesus Jungkookie, don’t you ever pay attention to what is going on around you?”

“Of course not.”

“I have literally nothing to say to that. Talk to you at school tomorrow. For the _last_ time, goodnight! ”

“Bye to you too, hyung … hang on, I still need your help with―”

[CALL ENDED: JOONIE-HYUNG🖤]

**Author's Note:**

> hiya! this is the first fanfiction I've ever posted before, and I can tell by reading over this I can improve a lot. any pointers you guys have are greatly appreciated! <3 ana
> 
> p.s: you nice, keep going💜


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